on memory

yes to you who mentioned Eudora, in response to my bog about her. How when memory flows through a person the living and the dead co-mingle. I am sorry not to be able to respond more exactly to those of you who have asked me questions. I don’t know, is the truth of it, I can only blunder along and perhaps in my blundering, as I search and search like someone who has lost their favorite sweater and is frantically throwing every single piece of clothing out of her drawer to find it, as I fumble in the tangle of stuff, others might join me or be interested in the detritus I leave all over the floor as I look for my favorite thing, which is of course in reality something I have never seen before, and will never see in my life: it’s something perfect, a thing I have made, and that’s not possible, so I will just have to keep searching, like everybody else. Maybe the dead find it, the perfect thing.

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